About

Who am I?

Short version:

I am a juggler…of fatherhood, marriage, career…of relationships, friends, colleagues…of physical, mental and spiritual health.

All these roles. All these responsibilities. All these balls in the air. What should be picked up? What put down? What is important, when everything is important?! What is even possible? When do I look after others and when do I look after myself? How do I stay sane and strong in a crazy, busy world?

Longer version:

I have been through the wringer a few times in my life and, while not claiming to have insight or revelation, or anything in particular to say, I do have something absolutely unique to say. (Why this is so should be obvious.) By ‘say’, I actually mean write. And I am writing because I want to write—that’s it. For me, writing is the fulcrum upon which rests the delicate balance between sanity and strength on the one side, and the chaotic lack thereof on the other. Mens sana in corpore sano—this is where I can work out; this is where I have control and can let go.

And on the subject of balance: as for the most famous, oft-touted one of all—work/life balance—I don’t like it. Why?
(a) Because it’s a false dichotomy and
(b) because work is, at most, a part of my life and
(c) because it’s often merely used as a gimmick to sell things on the ‘life’ side: “You’re working too much so you need x.”

I love my family and love my work (usually) and could quite easily, without any effort of my own, lose both. Perish the thought! Nevertheless: shit happens, at work and in life. But as much as I am powerless to stop some things happening, I do have the power to make other things happen. Good things. Wonderful things. Like writing about juggling.

First and foremost, this is for me. It’s cathartic, or something. But if anyone else is here and finds this helpful and/or entertaining, well, that’s just fine: Hi, how are you? See the footer for contact info.

Why the catchy title, “no friction, no fiction”?

“No friction?”

Oh my, how many people and things make demands of my time? How many distractions crouch at my door and alas! How often do I succumb!? And yet the goal is to be without friction. Only doing the right thing at the right time. Zero distractions. Zero time-wasting. Feelings and emotions don’t drag me down, they propel me forwards. In a nutshell—negativity, no; via negativa, yes.

”No fiction?”

A stubborn attempt to live in the grain, the warp and woof, of reality and not go against it, ignore it. This means working out what is true about myself, rejecting falsehoods and not tolerating bullshit; accepting life and other people as they present themselves and not as I would like them to be. The more astute reader will here make the assumption that I have indeed spent lots of time living in fiction, otherwise I would not be pushing back against it. Steven Pressfield’s resistance resonates deeply with me, as does Marcus Aurelius’ bios polemos. I fight every day, honour bound and scrappy; win or lose, some of those fights will make their way onto these pages.

A small caveat

I’m British and tend towards irony and satire. I am a born cynic but I’m getting over it.