Patriarchy Wallpaper

The irony of patriarchy is this: once you get past the outer layers of expected/exhibited behaviours, women are mentally tougher, physically more resilient and more capable of suffering than men. They bear much, without screaming bloody revenge or withdrawing into a man-cave. There are obviously exceptions, but I’m talking about the sum of history and my own experience.

A male-dominated society is basically the only way we can comprehensively paper over this massive cognitive dissonance. It removes the need to deal with the myriad unconscious biases besetting us and do the hard work of reflexion and reconciliation. Ignorance is bliss?! No: a failed paradigm of compromise serves all constituents poorly. So much potential wasted by broken mental models and broken algorithms.

I believe men and women are equal partners in the hostile territory¹ into which we are thrust from birth. There is a complex interplay of strengths and weaknesses, which, less ego and machismo (boring!), naturally find a beautiful synergy…given time. And by beauty I mean creative power, not things beautiful in the eye of the beholder, which are subjective and fleeting².

Men have mistaken pomposity, status, power and being driven by hatred for masculinity. What does that get us? Tyranny, rent-seeking and odious role models for those lower down the pecking order; the system is self-perpetuating.

Men, as the passive beneficiaries of the status quo, need to seriously bite the hand that feeds them. That means we don’t paste wallpaper—we throw it on the bonfire. Does that mean we will have to see the cracks and deficiencies in the system for what they are and start trying to mend them? Yes.

• rejection of violence and aggression while practicing strength to protect and defend
• not yielding to reactions and counter-reactions but standing on timeless values³
• equality with everyone, always.
• choosing the messy, creative path and not the path of least resistance
• taking risks, for society and nature⁴